The Things That Should Not Be
by Raidou The 16th
Summary: "You're one bad day away from me." Series of random drabbles that just truck along with a few aspects of the persona series. M-rated for its content, be warned. That said, hope you enjoy the read.
1. Something I'm Not

**Sup? How y'all been? I'm back with more random stuff. This will be a string of one shots and drabbles that are a bit, uhh... under my regular stuff. In many aspects. Maybe not in quality... there's not much I can do to lower that. Which is why this is M rated. Those will be darker than my usual stuff, and rarely will contain elements and characters from the games you all know. It'll be me, trucking along with elements of the persona series, such as shadows, personae, the works. I will not update this constantly (when do I update something constantly, again?)... when I feel like one of these is coming to me, I'll update it. As for other fics... I dunno. Time will tell. Anyway, hopefully, you can enjoy the slightly heavier, but shorter read. On with it.**

* * *

Hey... let me tell you a secret.

At night... when I crawl and hide... my darkness roams about.

And hurts...

And maims...

And kills.

I fear it so much... I've never been able to tame it. I feel like I'll turn into stone if I look into it's sickly yellow eyes, then shattered to bits without a single bit of remorse.

It might be true, yes...

Not even here, in the cell where I'm locked away forever, the creature... the darkness is not bound by its walls.

It still goes outside and murders in cold blood.

I am here because of its wicked doings... my freedom was taken away because of its evil, unstoppable hatred for everything.

And the thing insists on wearing my face...

Why... I sob into a corner as another sleepless night drifts on. The guilt and disgust creep into my spine in the form of a sinister chill, as my hands suddenly grow colder and stiffer, much like they were dipped into cold water.

It did it again... I know it did.

I tremble, clutch my head, cry and wail alone in my solitary.

Where would they put me next?

My powerless sobs fill the lonely room as my fears merge with reality. My vision shakes.

I feared the night, because my darkness would roam the land and kill in my name. Then, I feared the day for the punishment for my darkness' deeds awaited me...

The world was so cruel...

... I not only feared it all... I hated it, as well.

It was so unfair. I just wished I didn't have to atone for that thing's sins.

I just wish they saw that it wasn't me.

What wouldn't I do to have my freedom back...

"Open your eyes... I'm you," the wretched thing whispers into my ears, far as it is.

I scream and swing my head backwards, hoping the wall would help me get that voice out of my head.

It doesn't work.

That night in special... was haunted by flashes and voices...

I saw much of what it did, that night.

And it kept telling me... "I'm you,"...

"I did it all,"...

"I deserved to be there,"...

No!

Enough!

... Get me out of here... I'll do anything...

... Get it out of here... Get it out of my head...

... Why me?

I black out.

...

...

When I come to, I am in a place different than the one I was in before.

Everything is white for a couple of seconds... and then back to black, as something shields my eyes.

I try to move. It's useless... I'm tied to what seems to be a chair.

No...

I sob once more, and as I do I bite into the fabric that muffles my impotent screams.

Why... does it haunt me so...

It's its fault! Can't they see it's that thing's fault?!

Can't they see that's not me?!

Ignorant bastards! Damn them all to Hell!

Someone please set me free!

...

I feel a sting on my arm.

... They jabbed the pin.

I stop struggling against my will. The restraints that just started running in my veins are far more powerful than the ones tying my limbs down.

All I can feel is the fabric over my eyes getting wet and warm with my tears as my mind begins to drift away.

Why... must it end this way? That thing remains unpunished... and I'm the one being sent to Hell in its place.

... All I wish is to drag all of them under with me... watch them choke on their own blood as they plead wordlessly for mercy... cretins... how dare they mistake me for that thing...

I do not share its hatred! I've never done anything to anyone! It was all that things fault!

It was all...

... it's M-...

...

... Hah.

* * *

 **Well? Not my usual line of writing. But hey. I'm actually going through writer's block, so whatever gets my juices flowing. If you feel like you wanna drop a comment, review box is right down there. I'm Raidou the 16th, not sure if I approve this message. Killing is bad, mm'kay? See y'all some other time.**


	2. When A Blind Man Cries

The young man crashed in through the door, having lost his balance since since it flung open. Tripping and faltering, he found support on the wall of the small living room. He would have crashed face first into it, if he didn't put his arms in front of himself.

Unable to stand up for much longer, he turned around and leaned on the wall, before sliding down to the ground.

With a smirk, I shook my head at the piece of disappointment before me.

"Look at you... why do you this to yourself? You know, I'm the one who's supposed to be the crazy one here..." I squatted down before the sack of crap lying against the wall of his own, lonely apartment. I would laugh, if it wasn't so pathetic.

I clicked my tongue a few times. His heavy breathing sent the taste of alcohol into my own mouth... disgusting!

"Close your mouth man... you're intoxicating the whole floor..." I cupped my mouth and nose with one hand and closed his mouth with the other, careful not to touch his lips, or anything of the sort...

Then again... touching his chin might not have been the best idea either. He might have thrown up, along the way.

Leaving that thought aside, I got up and went to close the door, before passing by the small kitchen to fill a glass of water.

I went back to him, still lying there.

"What was it this time? Same old?"

No response. The guy just kept taking deep breaths.

I pinched the bridge of my nose.

What a fucking hassle...

I threw the water in his face.

He was so slow, he took some good two seconds to turn his face away. When he lifted his arms up to wipe his face, I could swear the guy was wearing gravity bracelets, because holy shit, was he heavy.

"I told you that was gonna get you killed one day," my words sure as hell packed venom.

And I sure hoped that somehow, that venom got under his skin and went up to his brain.

But that was always wishful thinking.

I never got to him.

"Gggo to Hh-... ell.." was his slurred response, as his head slumped to the other side.

... That was it?

That was all he had to say?

"... Go to Hell, huh? Maybe you could come and show me the way since you're already there, you asshole!"

I didn't even bother containing my disappointment and slapped him across the face. Didn't even care. Just brought his face right right back to where it was before he opened his mouth.

He coughed a few times. Maybe he choked on some saliva, or something came up his throat.

"Come on, don't be a pussy. You're tougher than that, and I know that better than anyone else.

So. How's that 'righteousness' going for ya? Pretty well, I'd wager," I said, my stare narrowing ever so slightly, but constantly.

No response. He just bit his lip and lowered his head.

"How many times have I told ya? How many times have I whispered into your ear? How many times have I sat on your chest, and you didn't. Fucking. Listen." My teeth grit as I spoke, the last words coming out almost as an angry, incomprehensible hiss, but I was sure he could understand me.

"You had it all in your hands. You could have been the one. But noooo... dear old mama told you to be right above all, and you followed her example like she was Jesus reincarnate. Tell me... where is she now, again?"

His face was still wet with the water, but I could feel it in my chest. He was crying. Fuck my empathy.

"Where! The Fuck! Is she, now?!" I screamed, as I felt his tear run down my face.

"She left you for dead, didn't she? Worse than that, she made you leave yourself for dead long before she dug herself six feet under! And only you! Look where are the others? Look where you left the others! Your pride, your arrogance, your foolishness, your... your... you left yourself behind, just so you could be right! To be right! Hahaha, what the fuck does that even mean?! You don't know, do you?! 'I'm gonna search for the answer deep within myself'" I mocked his voice. It wasn't really that hard to imitate it.

"To look within yourself, you said... hahahahahaha! Look at me now, dammit! Look within yourself! See what's the answer you seek!"

"I woon...-"

"Of course you fucking won't! Because you're afraid. You're afraid to look at me. You're afraid to listen to me! You're afraid of even acknowledging that I exist! Because I'm gonna lead you astray, because I'm gonna set you in a path of ruin, because I was gonna make you lonely... because you fear me.

Look at me...!

You fear me.

But really, look around yourself. Look at yourself. This is what you should have feared. This, is what you should have avoided being. You're stupid. You were afraid of looking at me because were gonna be alone, but look, see if anyone's there! See if anyone cares! They don't. They never do, they never did. They just laugh... they just laugh at you for what you give them, and how you end up.

Real smart of you, to turn away from me... now you're there, drunk out of your mind, almost dying.

Is this what you call patience?

Is this what you do to pass the time?

Why am I asking? I know it is.

You're gonna end up killing me and you in that little play of yours. Listen to me at least once in your pathetic life."

He barfed, right there and then.

... he didn't just drink.

God fucking dammit.

"Look, being selfish is not being evil, if that's what you're worried about. Look at what you're doing, you're just being selfish for them! Do it for yourself! Let people repay the favor! You don't need to kill or rape anyone, just.. be yourself for once! Live your life for once! I'm not asking for a lot.

Hell, looking at the others like me out there, I could be killing dozens. Even me, the darkest there is to you, am not that evil. It's only in your eyes. You deny me as if I were a plague, as if I'd damage your perfect record."

I then felt a warmness in my chest.

...

I shook my head. I knew just what was going on.

"I guess you're too good for your own good," I got up to my knees, then to my feet.

"See you around, dipshit."

I left.


	3. Helpless

"Hey, wake up."

I hear a voice.

"Wake up!"

I feel a hand slapping my face, along with a weight on my chest.

"Whoo, finally. Thought I'd have to serve you a knuckle sandwich for breakfast. Good morning! How you doin'?"

My eyes open. I try to reply, but can't.

I try to move, but can't either.

What is this...?

"Great, I see. Good. Are you ready for this beautiful day? Of course you are. Come on, smile!

... That's not really the case, is it? I know it ain't."

The man says straight to my face, with disappointment plastered on its features.

"Tell me, how do you force yourself to wake up everyday like this? Do you really get up and thank the higher force for everything you have like you say you do? Do you really face everything with a smile, as you make others believe?

Do you really see beauty in the "small" things?"

I stare back, motionless. Of course I do... how else would I carry on through the days if I didn't see beauty in the smallest things...? I mean... it's the truth. As much as I want these words to come out of my mouth, they don't.

"Or do you see everything as irrelevant...?"

...

"Is everything crumbling before your eyes and beyond?"

...

"Are you everything you despise?

Do your words even give you solace? Or do they just make sense for the you in others' visions?"

That...

"Of course...! Since no one sees this side to you, it's like it doesn't exist, right, you lying sack of shit?!

Too bad you can't shake the thought off.

Too bad this void lives deep inside of you.

Where will you end up? Have you ever thought about that? Where will you take yourself? Maybe you deny me because it's safe, maybe because I'm a douche, sometimes... yeah, I concede to that, but take a wild guess who I am, fool!"

I want to protest. I really do. How dare this son of a bitch say that literally to my face? I want to punch him so bad, if I did, he'd be sent crashing through the ceiling and back down.

But I can't, for some reasons. I'm trapped in... I'm being captive by... I don't even know. What the Hell is keeping me down?!

This phony bastard isn't me, and all of this is a dream! How do I get out of this?!

Shaking his head, the guy clicks his tongue with a smirk. "I ask you again: how are you going to get up and lead your people with a straight face? What are you leading them towards? You can't keep the act forever.

So... next time you encourage your guys with a smile on your face, remember..."

He inches closer and almost thrusts his yellow eyes into mine.

I look so damn ugly with those...

"You're one bad day away from me."


End file.
